How does Plastic Surgery affect relationships in Calgary

Plastic surgery is trending at a global level, and its use is increasing even in Calgary. The taboo associated with plastic surgery is reduced to some extent, and now undergoing plastic surgery is often understood as a private or personal decision. In Calgary and many other places, plastic surgery is considered a legitimate way to improve one’s appearance.

Plastic surgery is not just a means to achieve the exaggerated beauty standard perceived by society. For many men and women, it is a way to correct their insecurities and feel confident. However, the procedure and its results may significantly impact on the patient and the people close to her/him.

What is Plastic Surgery?

What is plastic surgery?

Plastic surgery is a medical procedure that alters, enhances, or reshapes your physical appearance. Plastic surgery is of two types, namely cosmetic surgery and reconstructive surgery.

Cosmetic surgery mainly deals with aesthetic aspects like enhancing the appearance of an individual. Some of its procedure includes rhinoplasty, liposuction, facelift surgery, breast reduction, etc.

On the other hand, reconstructive surgery’s primary concern is to repair facial or body defects resulting from birth deformities, burns, and diseases. Some of its procedure includes burn repair surgery, hand surgery, craniofacial surgery, palate surgery, etc.

Undergoing plastic surgery can either change your life for better or worse. It can either build new relationships or destroy even the existing ones. So, the decision to go under the knife is crucial, and you should decide only after careful deliberation. It would help if you also discussed it with your dear ones as it will affect your relations with them.

Let us look at some of the positive and negative aspects of plastic surgery. Also, how undergoing plastic surgery can affect relationships, particularly in Calgary.

The negative impact of Plastic Surgery

Plastic surgery can ruin relationships or even destroy the life of an individual. So, it is essential that you know the negative impact of plastic surgery and how to cope with such instances before taking a drastic decision. Mentioned below are the list of negative aspects of plastic surgery and how it can affect your relationships in the long run.

Financial cost

It is a known fact that plastic surgeries are costly. Not everyone can afford the procedure. On top of that, the more well-known and experienced the surgeon, the higher its cost. Besides, many people end up in debt because they take up loans for undergoing surgery.

Mr. Johnson had to pay a considerable amount for his wife’s tummy tuck procedure and breast reduction. Like most husbands, he was against breast reduction procedures but failed to convince his wife. However, the surgery went wrong, and Mrs. Johnson had to undergo another surgery resulting in more expenses.

Later, Mr. Johnson complaint that he is unhappy, despite spending a tremendous amount of money on his wife. He has become insecure and suspicious because his wife is getting more attention from other men. While Mrs. Johnson seems to be enjoying all the head, she’s turning.

Thus, plastic surgery can negatively affect your relationship with your partner. It can be because of financial issues, jealousy, or even insecurities, like in the case of Mr. Johnson. Hence, before undergoing surgery, you need to talk it out with your partner. 

High Expectations.

Most patients have unrealistic expectations. After surgery, you may expect to look like Kylie Jenner, but there’s a massive chance that you may be disappointed with the result.

Consequently, your unrealistic expectations can even harm your relationships. For instance, your peer’s reaction will matter a lot to you. So, if you are not satisfied with the surgery outcome, their comments and opinion, either positive or negative, can ultimately harm your relationships.

Therefore, you must do your research well and find out precisely what you want before the surgery; else, you may regret it later. Also, you must not have unrealistic expectations as it will only bring eternal misery.

Surgical Risks

Undergoing surgery, both reconstructive and cosmetic, involves enormous risks. There are chances that it may go wrong, and even your life may be in danger. Your physical appearance may disfigure or even worse, shock, cardiac arrest, or organ failure can happen in the operation theatre.

Deciding to undergo surgery can be dreadful, both for the patient as well as the family members. It is a considerable risk not only for you but also for your family. Therefore, you should make such a decision only if you are well aware of the risk involved.

Emotional Damage

Deciding to undergo surgery itself can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. Furthermore, if you do not feel satisfied with the outcome of the surgery, you will feel remorseful or even resentment towards others, including your surgeon and the staff.

You can heal your physical scar with time. However, when you are emotionally damage, no amount of time or even immense love from your loved ones can completely heal you. As a result, you can hamper your relation with others. When there is full of remorse and anger within you, it will destroy your outer world, including those you treasured most.

Psychological problems

One of the side effects of plastic surgery is that it can negatively impact your mental health. Most of the patients suffer from post-surgery depression. In other words, they take time to get accustomed to the new changes in their appearance. It can be because they are not satisfied with the results or simply because they are overwhelmed to see a different image.

Most researchers often link plastic surgery with suicidal tendencies. Studies prove that those patients who undergo cosmetic surgery are likely to suffer from depression and extreme anxiety. They can also develop suicidal tendencies because they feel disappointed with the outcome of the surgery.

Such mental illness can severely affect not only the patient but also the relation with the family members. It would be difficult for the caregivers to cope with such mental illness and ultimately strain their relationships in the long run.

Addiction

Believe it or not, plastic surgery can be an addiction. Many patients, particularly those suffering from BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), tend to find flaws in their appearance continuously. As a result, they get addicted to perfecting their appearance with multiple surgeries.

Such addiction to surgeries can be quite taxing for the family, be it the spouse or the parents. Since plastic surgery is costly, having multiple surgeries can be a severe issue for the patient as well as the family members.

There are instances where people undergo multiple surgeries to get the desired outcome and ultimately lead the entire family into debt.

Post- Surgical struggles

The recovery period can be quite challenging for many patients. Apart from the pain, numbness, and scars, there are other adverse outcomes post-surgery. For instance, your whole life will come to a halt as you need time to heal. Your relations with your partners or children, your social life, and your job will also be affected.

Also, there are chances that your friends or relatives may not like the changes in your appearance. There are also cases where an individual is discriminated against in the workplace after surgery because the colleagues find it hard to accept the new image. All these may create tension and strained your relationship with them.

The positive impact of Plastic Surgery.

Despite all the negative aspects mentioned above, plastic surgery can also positively affect and build relationships. It not only enhanced the image of an individual and but also help them to live a fulfilled life. Here are some of the ways in which plastic surgery can improve relationships.

Boost Self-esteem

Plastic surgery boost self esteem

Being confident is the key to success in every aspect of life. When you are satisfied with the way you look, you feel confident to try anything in life. Studies show that most people tend to try new things and willingly participate in social activities after plastic surgery since they feel good about themselves. Plastic surgery can also improve the social life of an individual. With newfound looks and confidence, people tend to socialize more than usual.

Similarly, plastic surgery can also improve your relations with your partner, family members, peers, and social group. When you feel confident, you feel happy, which can ultimately improve your relationships with others.

Nora Smith, a 35-year old underwent liposuction and breast reduction surgery a year ago. She claims that she feels confident now more than ever since she lost about 43 pounds after surgery. Even her social relationships have improved drastically since she often hangs out with her friends.

Improve Physical Health

Plastic surgery enhances not only the way you look but can also improve your physical health. Some reconstructive surgery procedures such as burn repair surgery, laser hair removal, or breast reconstruction reduce physical discomfort and irritation.

In addition, cosmetic surgery like rhinoplasty can also help in relieving breathing problems. Also, an eye lift can help reducing eye pain and headaches.

Additionally, when you are physically healthy, you can ensure that your relations with your loved ones are healthy too. Besides, your relatives will be at ease when they know that you are healthy and happy.

Improve Mental Health

There is no doubt that plastic surgery has psychological benefits. An individual who is insecure about his/her physical appearance may struggle with mental illnesses like depression and anxiety.

As a result of plastic surgery, many people tend to notice a reduction in anxiety and depression. It is because, with newfound self-esteem from their changed appearance, they tend to socialize more, take on new challenges and begin to take charge of their life.

Moreover, by enhancing your mental health, your relationships with your family, friends, and community will improve simultaneously. Richard Davidson rightly said, “The key to healthy life is having a healthy mind.”

Get more opportunities

It is sad but true that people who are physically more appealing get noticed and receive more attention. Studies suggest that attractive people tend to enjoy more personal as well as professional opportunities. 

Scarlett Brown was struggling to find a regular job despite her qualification. However, after she underwent cosmetic surgery, she was hired as a financial planner in a reputed company.

According to Miss Brown, people’s behavior towards her has changed after surgery. They treat her differently now, and they seem to like her more because they pay attention to her needs which they didn’t earlier. Hence, it is clear that people tend to be more gentle and kind towards good-looking people, especially towards attractive women. 

Accessibility

Plastic surgery as a medical procedure is widespread across the world. In recent times, more and more people are opting for plastic surgery and hair transplant. Even in Calgary, there are many renowned surgeons and clinics that offer excellent services. You can easily make the appointment anytime, anywhere, if you have the will and money to undertake the procedure. Thus, plastic surgery is easily accessible anywhere in the world.

Conclusion

As you may have known by now, the decision to undergo plastic surgery is crucial. There are a lot of negative consequences involved. Also, there are high chances that patients who are dissatisfied with the result may experience depression and anxiety, social isolation, broken relationships, family problems, and even suicidal tendencies.

However, on the bright side, there are also cases where patients find self-esteem and confidence through plastic surgery. Some patients began socializing, taking up new adventures, found a new hobby, got better jobs, and began living quality life after surgery. Their relationships with their partner and family members improved, and they are living a happy and contented life.

Therefore, you must deliberate carefully with your families before you take such a drastic step. Such a decision will have an impact on you and your family members’ lives. Besides, you should also research thoroughly and make the right choice. It is vital that you understand the consequences well and understand the risk you are undertaking. And whatever you decide, make sure you choose the path which will lead you to a contented and happy life.

Six Qualities Couples Desire Most in Relationship

There are so many things you want your significant other to be. You can’t pick out the best parts of others and put them all together in one person. It’s important to understand that it isn’t easy to find our ideal person and you have to make some compromises. Even in a healthy relationship, you always have ups and downs, and no relationship is perfect. However, there some characteristics and traits that help make your relationship worthwhile. Here are six qualities that couples desire in their relationships:

Trustworthiness

For an honest relationship between you and your partner, trust is of vital importance. Being conscientious of others is an excellent quality that includes being loyal and reliable for your significant other. 

It is an admirable quality to be the best support system for your partner in harsh times and good times. Trusting each other wholeheartedly to the point where you can rely on one another is the epitome of a healthy relationship. 

The importance of being a loyal and faithful partner is underlined when you are trustworthy to your partner. In a relationship, you should be ready to depend on each other during times of need. Without trust, your partnership cannot flourish into something more substantial.

Optimism

Everyone wants to be around positivity. The people you surround yourself with influence how you are as a person. For example, being around positive people makes you more optimistic in your outlook on life. Likewise, you become pessimistic when you have a lot of negative energy around you. Couples tend to thrive when they both inculcate positivity in their lives together. With optimism comes emotional stability, a trait that aids in a more forgiving, understanding relationship. 

Even when it comes to future planning in relationships, optimistic individuals tend to have a more positive outlook. 

Empathy

To be empathetic means to be willing to put yourself in the shoes of another and walk their walk. Empathy means understanding emotions while also sharing the feelings of your significant other. Being empathetic goes a long way into making your partner feel loved as well as understood. Spousal support is one of the essential pillars in a relationship. 

Feeling like you’re understood and heard is what everyone needs in a relationship. When going through rough patches, you need your partner to be sensitive to your feelings and share the burden and stress. Empathy also inculcates kindness. Showing kindness in every little action will make your partner feel loved and cared for. 

Respectfulness

The important thing here is to practice mutual respect. Respect in relationships is so important because it shows that you hold the other person in high regard. It shows them how appreciative you are of them, boosts their self-esteem, and that their presence is valued. 

Everyone is different, with complex thoughts and feelings. To be willing to accept your differences is to be appreciative of your diversity. In a way, being different allows you to have a fresh perspective about your life. 

As individuals, you and your partner are both entitled to your independence. Although being in a relationship means that you can depend on each other, it doesn’t mean that you do not have a private life. Be it in your workplace or other individual endeavors. It is vital to respect each other’s privacy. Sometimes it is healthy to have alone time in your relationship. 

You can gather your thoughts and ponder upon your own life and life goals. When you argue, the best solution is to give each other space, respect this space, and come back with a clear mind, with better solutions.

Feeling of intimacy

The factor of love is what makes a couple. Without love, there will be no existence of a relationship. With love comes intimacy. Being intimate with someone is the most significant perk of being in a relationship. The feeling of intimacy is not only related to sexual desires but also emotional intimacy. Of course, [physical attraction is essential to keep your relationship healthy, but more than that, the feeling of intimacy lets you know each other on a deeper level. 

For this, you need similarity on some level- to enjoy the same type of food or joke or belief in each other. Sharing similarities while also respecting the differences is a balance everyone needs. The key is to understand each other’s philosophies on relationships. This will help in building a stronger foundation on trust and growth as the relationship progresses.

As social beings, we are all born with the need for attachment, love, and belonging. The feeling of intimacy with your significant other is a valid and robust quality that all should seek for a longer-lasting, healthier relationship.

Sense of Humor

To avoid straining the relationship, you need always to remember to have a little fun. Sharing a joyous moment and a moment of laughter with your significant other is a gift to your partnership. Especially if you share the same sense of humor, it could boost your level of love, intimacy, and understand. 

Having a sense of humor helps you diffuse an awkward moment to something you can look back on and laugh at. It helps you cherish all the moments, good or bad. Although humor is not always the correct way to handle situations, sometimes it helps to lighten the mood. 

These are a few qualities that you can look for in a partner or introduce in your current relationship. There are many more qualities that each feels are essential in a relationship. The way to go is to prioritize what you think is paramount in a relationship. You certainly cannot get every quality you like in a person, and having these qualities does not necessarily produce a happy relationship. It’s how well you adjust to your partner and how you communicate with each other that makes all the difference. 

Living Wisely in Trying Times

In a world that is changing too fast, too quick, you can’t help but feel the stress of it all. Maybe you won’t feel it instantaneously, but it piles on slowly until you feel completely unmotivated. This is why having a healthy mindset; having a plan and purpose in your life is essential. Times of trials and tribulations are always lurking around every corner. All that is required is to be wise about the decisions made and how to make them. Here are a few tips on how you can continue living wisely during trying times:

Building resilience:

Living wisely

Resilience is the ability of a person to “bounce back” after experiencing difficult times. The most important part about building resilience is to know perseverance. To continue, come rain or shine, and strive for the end goal is what drives resilience.

Setting realistic goals for yourself is the key to finding meaning in your life. It helps you stay focused on your purpose.

Accept the situation:

Whatever may come, always remember that acceptance is the first step. You have to accept the situation, however complicated or problematic it may seem. Only then will you be able to move on to the next step, that is, to tackle your problems.

Embrace the challenges that come your way and look at them as a stepping-stone towards your ultimate goal.

Practice mindfulness:

Mindfulness, as a form of self-care, helps you manage your life more efficiently. It helps you become more aware of your surroundings. Because of this, you can acknowledge your thoughts, body, and emotions.

Practising mindfulness is therapeutic, giving you a sense of calmness while also becoming more conscious.

Stay motivated:

Motivation is of the utmost importance when it comes to building resilience. Without it, you will find it difficult to persevere. Motivation initiates your sense of purpose and keeps you going.

Trust yourself endlessly:

Trust the process and have faith in yourself that you can get through anything.

Optimism:

Being optimistic helps you see the bright side in everything. It is the belief that the outcome of your situation will be favorable and desirable. An optimistic person tends to have faith and hope in life.

Having hope is an excellent positive trait that keeps you going because you believe that better things are coming your way. It entails that you are much bigger than the problem and that you are, in fact, not the problem.

Here is how you can inculcate optimism in your life:

Be grateful:

Gratitude means giving thanks and appreciating things, events, and people in your life. The most attractive trait of an optimistic person is their gratefulness for life. Accept all things that come your way, be ready to deal with problems, and look forward to a positive outcome.

Always forgive:

Carrying the burden of resentment and hatred can have a negative effect on a person. Forgiveness is an intentional action. It means that you can decide if you want to forgive.

To forgive indicates that you are willing to let go of the negative energy holding you captive.

Contribute to the community:

Communicating with people, socializing, and building your community towards a better future, brings you peace of mind. As social beings, we seek comfort in the arms of people we are in close contact with.

Having a community as your support system dramatically benefits your mental health. Showing kindness, volunteering, and celebrating with your community gives you fresh perspectives on life. It even can transform your problems through kindness and benevolence.

Emotional intelligence

The ability to understand your own emotions while also managing is a skill that you can develop. It helps you be more self-aware and of your surroundings, ultimately facilitating your communication skills.

Being emotionally intelligent helps you prioritize your life better. It gives you an open mind, helping you understand others better, and shifts your thinking toward an unbiased perspective. You become better at learning from your mistakes and changing for the better.

Emotional intelligence is the first step towards recognizing your full potential.

Here are a few tips on how you can improve your emotional intelligence:

Recognize your emotions

Try to understand what emotions you feel. Attempt to name them and ask yourself why you feel this way. This process makes you more aware of your emotions and helps you understand them better.

Being aware of your own emotions goes a long way in helping you understand others’ emotions.

Pay attention to your behavior:

Become more aware of your actions and try to analyze them in any given situation. This will help you develop a more effective communication channel. Always try to respond to conflict in a calm and clear mind instead of quickly reacting.

Take responsibility for yourself:

The most important aspect is to take full ownership of your behavior and accept the consequences as they come. Be assertive but always attempt to learn from your mistakes. It helps you grow as a person and develop self-respect.

Read about designing relationships here

The ebb and flow of life can get anyone. It’s not only the weak that are tested with trying times. Remember to keep your focus on what you can control instead of fixating on what you can’t. When you actively put effort into improving your wellbeing, you will easily live a happier life.

Designing Relationships: A Dedication and Tribute

I dedicate this blog site to those who live real and ordinary lives that create extraordinary and powerful stories. I believe these stories deserve to be expressed and recognized. They will serve as inspiration and hope.

I dedicate this site to my clients who never cease to inspire me. This site will offer tools, resources and services I am passionate about sharing. I hope it will offer support and guidance in designing your relationship to what you want most in life and in your important relationships in order to achieve a life of purpose and joy.

I am dedicating this site to my family-my husband of 31 years and beautiful daughters and now extended family, adoringly, who teach me about the heartbeat of love on a daily basis.

To my friends and colleagues, thank you for all your unconditional support and being in the “goo” through it all. You know who you are, and I am so grateful, my tribe.

In this blog, I am highlighting my mother and father, who founded a family business gaining great notoriety as home designers, interior decorating and home building. They also established and nurtured life-long relationships with their customers and the community. This kind of relationship building has created a legacy and a role model I follow.

The concept of building lives as they build homes is a wonderful correlation in tribute to their tenacity, grit, wisdom and success. There are many similarities we share in the process of change as we navigate a life of purpose.

Allow Your Inner Designer to Emerge and Unfold

Meditation

Every stage of our lives offers an opportunity to reflect upon the question of “now what…what’s next in this chapter”?

I believe it requires a process of openness, and stillness to create space to listen. This need for contemplation even 5- 10 minutes a day can then allow the imagination and vision to emerge.

I believe it is important to create a private special space in ones’ home or in nature to meditate or pray, allowing the wisdom and guidance necessary to create the hope or dream. The dream then begins to take shape, like a new relationship, career direction, work of art…and requires nurturing, attention and priority to deepen and grow.

Maybe it is a life change, a calling, a new project or artistic endeavor that inspires and fulfills us. Perhaps it the awareness that change, for better or worse is imminent and will require the courage to weather the transition. To take on the role of the “designer” gives permission to explore and play with options and possibility. Curiosity leads to clarity when mindful.

Design Your Own Blueprint for a Life of Purpose

Whose blueprint are you living? Is it one of your own design, or the blueprint of others’ expectations. The question that is needed is …what purpose does my life serve now? Am I living in a way that offers my strengths aligned with my core values? What brings life joy? What resonates or calls out to me? What do I want to create for my life, my family, the culture of my company, school or organization?

Choose the Tool That Fits You

Purpose of life

If you need a hammer, get a hammer. The understanding of what each change requires can sometimes be daunting. What resources or services do you need to move forward?

Creating change takes “grit” or tenacity as I mentioned about my families example. Rome was not built in a day. Ask anyone who has lived through a remodeling project or a newly built home. Patience is required as each and every step is taken. Strengthening belief, hope and faith grows muscle! The joy can be in the process as well as the outcome of achieving our hopes and dreams!

What do you want to design in your life or business right now? Allow yourself the space to imagine and create. Getting married? Check my article about the ultimate wedding planning essential.

Getting Married? The Ultimate Wedding Planning Essential

You are in the wedding planning stages- planning the location, the venue, the vibe and the dress, photographer, honeymoon everything to make the day you have both dreamed of come true. And you have such love and excitement planning your lives together. One wedding essential necessary to make sure your marriage is headed for success is pre-marital counseling.

Getting married is exciting! Creating a love that lasts requires wisdom, skill, planning, and conscious ways  to build trust and commitment.

Pre-marital counseling is a process offered to couples once the decision to marry is made. It can be for first time or re-marriages. In Designing Relationships, I believe that it offers the understanding, clarity and resources to build a strong foundation and vision that contribute to sustaining lasting happiness. I use an integrated approach interweaving best practices for wellness and relational health.

I use combined resources including, the latest developments in neuroscience and stress management, research from the Gottman Institute for Making Marriage Last, 5Love Language’s from Gary Chapman and my own model for creating lives of purpose and joy.

Together we will:

married couple kissing
  1. Assess your strengths and challenges as a couple
  2. Customize a plan that will address your most important concerns.
  3. Create a conscious relationship vision for your future, interweaving your values, hopes and dreams for a life together you will love.
  4. Gain confidence to understand differences and manage conflict.
  5. Build the skill in communication to deepen and grow your connection.
  6. Design a portfolio of resources that will support you in your future happiness.

Get your relationship on the right start. Build a foundation that will last a lifetime. You will beat the odds and become relationship masters!

Reflections:

  1. What areas would you like to strengthen in your relationship to insure lasting happiness?
  2. What core values, hopes and dreams will you include in creating your relationship vision?
  3. What resources do you have in your toolbox to build a strong foundation for succsss?

About Sharla: I am passionate about working with couples. I believe that quality relationships require wisdom, skill and resources that then create  lasting love. I have 28 years as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and look forward to the opportunity to working with you.

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