Six Qualities Couples Desire Most in Relationship

There are so many things you want your significant other to be. You can’t pick out the best parts of others and put them all together in one person. It’s important to understand that it isn’t easy to find our ideal person and you have to make some compromises. Even in a healthy relationship, you always have ups and downs, and no relationship is perfect. However, there some characteristics and traits that help make your relationship worthwhile. Here are six qualities that couples desire in their relationships:


For an honest relationship between you and your partner, trust is of vital importance. Being conscientious of others is an excellent quality that includes being loyal and reliable for your significant other. 

It is an admirable quality to be the best support system for your partner in harsh times and good times. Trusting each other wholeheartedly to the point where you can rely on one another is the epitome of a healthy relationship. 

The importance of being a loyal and faithful partner is underlined when you are trustworthy to your partner. In a relationship, you should be ready to depend on each other during times of need. Without trust, your partnership cannot flourish into something more substantial.


Everyone wants to be around positivity. The people you surround yourself with influence how you are as a person. For example, being around positive people makes you more optimistic in your outlook on life. Likewise, you become pessimistic when you have a lot of negative energy around you. Couples tend to thrive when they both inculcate positivity in their lives together. With optimism comes emotional stability, a trait that aids in a more forgiving, understanding relationship. 

Even when it comes to future planning in relationships, optimistic individuals tend to have a more positive outlook. 


To be empathetic means to be willing to put yourself in the shoes of another and walk their walk. Empathy means understanding emotions while also sharing the feelings of your significant other. Being empathetic goes a long way into making your partner feel loved as well as understood. Spousal support is one of the essential pillars in a relationship. 

Feeling like you’re understood and heard is what everyone needs in a relationship. When going through rough patches, you need your partner to be sensitive to your feelings and share the burden and stress. Empathy also inculcates kindness. Showing kindness in every little action will make your partner feel loved and cared for. 


The important thing here is to practice mutual respect. Respect in relationships is so important because it shows that you hold the other person in high regard. It shows them how appreciative you are of them, boosts their self-esteem, and that their presence is valued. 

Everyone is different, with complex thoughts and feelings. To be willing to accept your differences is to be appreciative of your diversity. In a way, being different allows you to have a fresh perspective about your life. 

As individuals, you and your partner are both entitled to your independence. Although being in a relationship means that you can depend on each other, it doesn’t mean that you do not have a private life. Be it in your workplace or other individual endeavors. It is vital to respect each other’s privacy. Sometimes it is healthy to have alone time in your relationship. 

You can gather your thoughts and ponder upon your own life and life goals. When you argue, the best solution is to give each other space, respect this space, and come back with a clear mind, with better solutions.

Feeling of intimacy

The factor of love is what makes a couple. Without love, there will be no existence of a relationship. With love comes intimacy. Being intimate with someone is the most significant perk of being in a relationship. The feeling of intimacy is not only related to sexual desires but also emotional intimacy. Of course, [physical attraction is essential to keep your relationship healthy, but more than that, the feeling of intimacy lets you know each other on a deeper level. 

For this, you need similarity on some level- to enjoy the same type of food or joke or belief in each other. Sharing similarities while also respecting the differences is a balance everyone needs. The key is to understand each other’s philosophies on relationships. This will help in building a stronger foundation on trust and growth as the relationship progresses.

As social beings, we are all born with the need for attachment, love, and belonging. The feeling of intimacy with your significant other is a valid and robust quality that all should seek for a longer-lasting, healthier relationship.

Sense of Humor

To avoid straining the relationship, you need always to remember to have a little fun. Sharing a joyous moment and a moment of laughter with your significant other is a gift to your partnership. Especially if you share the same sense of humor, it could boost your level of love, intimacy, and understand. 

Having a sense of humor helps you diffuse an awkward moment to something you can look back on and laugh at. It helps you cherish all the moments, good or bad. Although humor is not always the correct way to handle situations, sometimes it helps to lighten the mood. 

These are a few qualities that you can look for in a partner or introduce in your current relationship. There are many more qualities that each feels are essential in a relationship. The way to go is to prioritize what you think is paramount in a relationship. You certainly cannot get every quality you like in a person, and having these qualities does not necessarily produce a happy relationship. It’s how well you adjust to your partner and how you communicate with each other that makes all the difference. 

Getting Married? The Ultimate Wedding Planning Essential

You are in the wedding planning stages- planning the location, the venue, the vibe and the dress, photographer, honeymoon everything to make the day you have both dreamed of come true. And you have such love and excitement planning your lives together. One wedding essential necessary to make sure your marriage is headed for success is pre-marital counseling.

Getting married is exciting! Creating a love that lasts requires wisdom, skill, planning, and conscious ways  to build trust and commitment.

Pre-marital counseling is a process offered to couples once the decision to marry is made. It can be for first time or re-marriages. In Designing Relationships, I believe that it offers the understanding, clarity and resources to build a strong foundation and vision that contribute to sustaining lasting happiness. I use an integrated approach interweaving best practices for wellness and relational health.

I use combined resources including, the latest developments in neuroscience and stress management, research from the Gottman Institute for Making Marriage Last, 5Love Language’s from Gary Chapman and my own model for creating lives of purpose and joy.

Together we will:

married couple kissing
  1. Assess your strengths and challenges as a couple
  2. Customize a plan that will address your most important concerns.
  3. Create a conscious relationship vision for your future, interweaving your values, hopes and dreams for a life together you will love.
  4. Gain confidence to understand differences and manage conflict.
  5. Build the skill in communication to deepen and grow your connection.
  6. Design a portfolio of resources that will support you in your future happiness.

Get your relationship on the right start. Build a foundation that will last a lifetime. You will beat the odds and become relationship masters!


  1. What areas would you like to strengthen in your relationship to insure lasting happiness?
  2. What core values, hopes and dreams will you include in creating your relationship vision?
  3. What resources do you have in your toolbox to build a strong foundation for succsss?

About Sharla: I am passionate about working with couples. I believe that quality relationships require wisdom, skill and resources that then create  lasting love. I have 28 years as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and look forward to the opportunity to working with you.

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